I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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