WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Randomize
