drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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