I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
