Kiss
Puke
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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