I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize