watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
