She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
