i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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