She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
