chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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