two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We left the knife in your bed.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
