I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize