woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
