Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
