I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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