I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Jerry, you need to find god
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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