dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
