I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Are we in a gay sports bar?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
