So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
