Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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