Do vagina's smell?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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