1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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