I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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