the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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