he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
im holly from the hills drunk
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
