You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
