why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're a waste of cheezeits
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
