Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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