Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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