did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
