i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
