i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
