I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
