i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
