I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
