Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
