Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Randomize
