Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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