Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
