I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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