Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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