i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i was born a porn star she said
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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