The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
