WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
