I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
