I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize