so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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