she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I pour the whiskey from now on
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
