So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
