My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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