We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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