This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
