i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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