my vag is so smooth its legendary
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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