WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
