There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize