I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
