Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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