Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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