U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
smell my finger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
